Based upon a student survey in Orono High School, 68 percent of seniors have participated in alcohol use and 43 percent of seniors are participating in illegal drug use. This data surpasses the national averages.

Because of the surprising data, Orono High School brought in Dr. Steve Khan, a psychologist in the Twin Cities. His group, Phoenix School Counseling, provides counseling, assessment services and presentations on parenting to schools, businesses and church groups.

According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, “The average age of first marijuana use is 14, and alcohol use can start before age 12. By the first year of college, 73 percent of people are sexually active and by the fourth year of college 90 percent of people are sexually active in the United States.”

“Parents weaken their own influence by focusing on little tiny issues,” said Khan. Students get tired of hearing their parents yell, and the effect simply wears off around their teenage years. “If teenagers get into trouble, and as a punishment parents yell at them, they are only waiting for the yelling to blow over.”

“It is not about how much power your parents have, it’s the ability to have them influence me that is going to help me make the right decisions,” said junior Lauren Johnson.

According to Kids Health, “it is important to create an atmosphere of comfort and openness when dealing with teenagers.”

Khan stressed the fact that all kids are good kids. Just because kids make a mistake, that does not mean that they are bad kids. Kids just do not always make the right decisions.

“Parents should give advice from personal experiences to connect with their children,” said senior Rachel Micoley.

Teenagers who are closer to their parents make better decisions. “If there is open communication between parent and child in a judge-free environment, many teenagers are willing to talk with their parents about the decisions that they are making,” said Khan.

Remember that parents only know what their children choose to tell them. What they choose to tell depends on how their parents have handled things previously. Teenagers are able to manipulate their own parents easily because most parents do not want to believe what their children are doing. Do not assume that drinking or marijuana use is inevitable.

Teenagers notice what their parents do and what their friends’ parents do. “If you think that you watch your kids, I can guarantee that your kids are watching you closer,” said social worker Kathryn Berg.

“A simple example of this is drinking during the Superbowl. Parents who drink during the Superbowl show that drinking is a socially acceptable activity. Even if you are not abusing alcohol, you still might be sending the wrong message to your kids. Remember, drinking is not a right of passage,” said Khan.

“I never realized how much every decision parents make are able to influence their kids,” said Orono parent Rebecca Mann.

Taylor Peterson is the Layout Chief for The Spartan Speaks.