Get your flu shots, people! Sorry, I got ahead of myself, but at least now you know what I’m going to be talking about. I, Sam Sustacek, am the proud bearer of a tiny band-aid (preferably not the pink princess one) on my shoulder every flu season. Yes, I get my flu shot, and yes, so should you.

Now, I don’t want to preach at you or tell you what to do, I simply want to lay out my argument, and I implore you to give it a listen.

First point: You don’t want the flu.

The flu is gross, to put it simply. Fever, chills, muscle aches, headache, runny nose, cough… should I continue? You do not want to spend your holiday season laid up in bed suffering while your family is gathered round the fire roasting chestnuts and/or watching Home Alone.

Even more importantly, you don’t want to pass the flu on to Grandma Sadie or little baby Jeffery. Influenza kills 36,000 people per year in the US alone and hospitalizes 20,000 according to Harvard Health, and most of the victims are those older than 65 and those younger than 2.

Harvard Health also says that 20-30 percent of those carrying the virus are symptom-free, so you could spread it without knowing. All the more reason to get vaccinated.

Second point: You CANNOT get sick from a flu shot.

You can’t. No chance. Zero. Nada. It is impossible! The shot is a dead strain of the virus, killed before it is even put in the needle. It is impossible for the shot to infect you, and if you do get sick after getting your shot just remember that correlation does not mean causation. Just because you got sick after your shot doesn’t mean the shot got you sick.

Ok, so the shot can’t get you sick. The mist on the other hand is simply a weakened strain of the virus according to WebMD. While too crippled to give you the flu, it can cause a mild cold and aggravate asthma symptoms. So, if you’re concerned about getting sick because of the vaccine, just go with the traditional shot.

The flu shot and the mist are designed and created to protect you, not hurt you. Although different treatments, with one being live and one dead, the mist and the actual shot tend to work just as well.

The CDC website is full of statistics regarding the effectiveness of the flu shot. In one CDC study, the flu shot reduced flu-related hospitalizations in adults by 71%, and it lowered hospitalizations 77% in those 50+ years old. It is helping people, not getting them sick.

Third Point: Just because you’ve skipped the vaccine and you’re healthy doesn’t mean that your immune system is just that strong.

This isn’t a knock on you. I’m sure your immune system has a whole army of Osmosis Jones working their tails off to defeat the germs, but here’s what I’m saying. According to the Centers for Disease Control, Minnesota ranks 12th in the nation in terms of vaccination coverage, and within Minnesota, Orono is regarded as one of the more affluent communities. With money comes access to physicians and vaccinations. In comparison with less affluent communities, Orono is highly vaccinated.

Because of this, there is a lower chance of a person coming in contact with the flu or getting the flu. This is described as “Herd Immunity” by Dr. Michael Garvis, MD of Southlake Pediatrics in Plymouth. “If you live in a ‘herd’ of people who vaccinate,” says Garvis, “you benefit from them because the virus has much less of a chance of being around you.”

So, as some of you start to think about college and leaving our ever so precious bubble, start thinking flu shot. The last thing you want is to be laid up in your dorm while your school’s football team is playing the big rivalry game. No hot dogs and touchdowns for you, just Kleenexs and cough drops.

Last Point (I promise I’m almost done): Doctors don’t want to immunize you because they get money out of it.

They actually care about you. I know the white lab coat and cold stethoscope can fool all of us, but they’re people too. And people don’t want other people to get sick. Garvis says that “the medical community as a whole hurts ourselves financially with vaccines.”

More flu shots equal less hospital visits, less office visits and less money into the medical community. So no, your doctor isn’t an evil capitalist. She or he simply doesn’t want you to get sick because they care about you.

The flu vaccine isn’t buying boats and Rolexes for your neighborhood physician. In fact, the medical world breaks about even on the shot according to Garvis. No profit, just healthy humans.

Ok, this is the Real Last Point: The flu shot is ever changing and evolving just like the flu

I know, I know. My time is up. The award music is playing, and I’m being ushered off-stage. Before I go, let me just toss in one last tidbit.

Every year, the flu shot is changed and tailored to the new and changing strains of the flu. You need the updated one every year because the flu shot you got as a 7th grader is about as good as an 8-track. You need an iPod for goodness sake, it isn’t the ‘80s anymore.

Ok, I’m done. Thank you, and I hope that you get my message(s). Let’s all be healthy and happy over the holidays. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t want a Spiderman band aid. It’s Spider man. On your arm. It’s awesome. Just about as awesome as not having the flu.